The Pro & Con List
We’re always quick to judge, aren’t we? A lot of us already have a list of do’s and dont’s when it comes to choosing a partner. And I have actually made a pro & con list for one of my past partners in the middle of a relationship after I had been debating on whether or not to leave. Looking back on that, why did I do it?
We all have our own pro & con list. Why do we make one for other people but not ourselves? And why is it so important to list out someone’s achievements and failures, good sides and bad sides? Relationships are not a competition, so what’s with all the pro & con lists?
In defense of a pro & con list, I will admit that it helps you sit back and think about what you do and don’t like about someone. And after making that list you can take the time to ponder if the “con” side is something you can accept for the rest of your life. On the other hand, it can also prove how stubborn and selfish we are as individuals!
Lets face it…. everybody has a side that’s unbearable at times, if not all the time. We all have funny habits, strange quirks, irrational outbursts, we all say the wrong thing at the wrong time without thinking. We’ve all hurt someone in some way at some point in life. We of course, like to believe that we’re almost perfect at all times and we never like to think of ourselves as a bad person ~ so why can’t we give the benefit of doubt to our partner when they have a bad day? Why are they NOT allowed to have a con list, but we ARE?
That doesn’t seem fair now does it?
So my advise would be this. If you feel the need to make a list of somebody’s pro’s and con’s to help you see things more clearly, to help you understand someone better, to help you pin point the issues you need to over come… then be my guest! However, as soon as you finish your partner’s pro and con list, I highly suggest you start on a new piece of paper to write one for yourself as well. Because your pros and cons could be just as bad, if not worse then the person you’re judging!