Abbi’s Blog

I Would Like You To Meet My Daughter!

 

I don’t know how other single parents feel about this but to me… asking someone to meet my daughter is ~~~ hhmmm… I don’t know??? ~~~ CRAZY!!

I was watching the movie “The Holiday” and I was blown away when the actor playing the role of a single dad explained my exact feelings when he talked about introducing the children to the women he dated.

It’s like this ~ There are 2 sides to me ~ I’m a double-agent!

The nights I have to myself, without my daughter, I get to be “someone else”, a single woman, free, fun and exciting. And when I’m with my daughter, I get to be “mommy”. I get to play with dolls, have breakfast in bed while watching Saturday morning cartoons and play “here comes the spider”!

When I’m “just Abbi” ~ I get to do what ever I want! I have so much more “me time” than most married couples do, so I take advantage of it because I know how lucky I am to get as much “me time” as I do! I take weekend trips by myself or with friends, I don’t second guess living out my wildest fantasies the way I did when I was married! I take the time to literately stop so I can hear the breeze whistle through the pine trees when I go for a walk and the same night you can find me dancing on top of a bar for all I care! Now on the other hand, when I’m with my daughter, “just Abbi” kind of disappears and I transform into mommy-mode. We live in our own little world! We have our own little routines, our own little inside jokes, our special moments, life experiences and adventures together! And I take extreme advantage of those times too because I don’t get them EVERY weekend like married couples do!

The thought of someone else actually, physically sharing these things with us seems like an invasion of our privacy in some strange way. Yes, it has definitely crossed my mind! It’s probably one of the first things I think of when I meet someone…

“Will he appreciate these simple moments as much as we do”?

“Will he be just as excited as me to share the things we saw with her when she comes back from her dad’s”?

“Will he respect ME as “mommy” as much as he does my free-spirited self”?

My double-agent lifestyle has become such an important and huge part of who I’ve become that I seem to forget that there’s a possibility it could very well change one day. The thought of someone else sharing it with me seems unrealistic! It’s not as if I don’t want anyone to share this lifestyle with me but in the back of my head, I know it won’t happen… not until the day comes when I meet someone LUCKY ENOUGH to have my daughter in his life!

You see ~ I consider myself blessed to be loved unconditionally by this little human that God gave me (like any parent should). The love from your own child who depends on you, counts on you, trusts you, believes in you, looks up to you and nobody else… that kind of love isn’t meant to be shared with just anybody!! It’s only meant for someone who will love her that much…and more…in return! An I’ll be damned if any man of mine breaks her beautiful heart, let alone mine!

A single parent has more than one heart at stake!

No man I’ve dated has ever been introduced to my daughter. Aside from running into people in public places or group-gatherings, my daughter has never heard me say the words, “Sweetie I want you to meet someone very special to me”!  There is one man who I have considered introducing to my daughter but I don’t know what scares me more?? The thought of them meeting or the thought of me wanting them to meet!!

WHEW ~ The life of a double-agent can be GREAT

but it’s definitely NOT easy-peesy-lemon-squeezy! (inside joke)

May 27, 2009 | Single Mom